Things Fall Apart Piece by piece.

I was looking at a website today with a lot of pics from my friends and their families on it. It made me sad. I feel so distant from the people I grew up with. I know that part of that is just growing up in general, you move on, but I feel so far away from what I was and who I was with. I feel alienated in that sense. I have friends and all in Vegas, but as they say, "you can't go home again."

I guess I would feel better if I could look at my situation now and feel that I had risen to some place that otherwise would not be attainable if not for sacrifice and hard work, etc. Sure, I've worked and sweat and studied and made it to where I am today, but I just don't know if what I've given up, if the choices I've made, are really "worth it" in the end. I left my home town, I left my home state, I went to school and now I got a job in a different state. I feel homeless and without roots. While some part of this is exhilarating another part is terrifying and cold. I feel like I'm constantly on some precipice.

Reading over this I am appalled at how I sound like I'm going through a mid-life crisis. I always had some contempt for men who experienced this, I don't know why. BTW, I am nowhere near 40 (yet).

All of this crisis mode reflection is exacerbated by the fact that my home life feels like it is falling apart as well. Some days I think I am seriously going to come unglued. I suppose I can empathize to some extent with those folks who just lose it and have nervous breakdowns. Society is rough. All the pieces that we are don't exactly lend themselves to coming together in a seamless whole. Disjointed am I.

Big ups to Chinua Achebe for his awesome book.
  ¶ 9:11 AM